Relationships thrive when there is good understanding between people, and problems are guaranteed to arise when there is misunderstanding. I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your own relationships.

Misunderstandings are usually the result of poor communication, because the only way to truly understand someone is to communicate with them; Ask them questions, listen to them and learn about them.

And the only way that someone can properly understand you is if you tell them what’s going on inside of you – in your head and in your heart. If you want to be understood, you have to express yourself honestly; and most importantly, be willing to be vulnerable.

Two people who allow each other to fully communicate (without argument) and who listen carefully when the other person is expressing themselves will have a strong and loving relationship. Why? Because love grows where there is understanding.

When you understand someone, you are going to empathise with them more. You will see the innocence that exists is in their heart, and it is truly impossible not to love an innocent heart! There is nothing more beautiful on this earth, and we all have innocence at the core of our heart. The challenge is to see it – not only in others but in yourself also.

So specifically with regard to our intimate relationships, one of the biggest challenges we have is in communicating properly. Because most of us are more interested in telling someone about ourselves, rather than listening and leaning about someone else. We are very eager to be heard, to be seen and understood by the other, but this is the wrong approach. Instead we need to focus on seeing the other, listening to the other, learning about the other and searching for the innocence that exists at their core. When we find it, it will be impossible not to love them. And our life’s purpose is not to go seeking for love for ourselves. Our sole purpose is to love others.

And this is how you can love anybody, by looking for and unearthing their innocence. It is always there… sometimes buried beneath pain, anger, grief. But everyone longs for their innocence to be truly seen, and this is actually the greatest gift you can possibly give another human being.

Listen to them, get to know them, learn about their feelings, their dreams and disappointments. Get to the core of who they are, and you will see their beauty. And communication is the only tool we need to do this.

Buy what about you? Who is going to see the core of you, who is going to listen to you, and discover the beauty within you?

You must trust that you will receive what you give. But you must first give it. It is in giving that we truly receive what our heart needs.

Every single human being – and most importantly your intimate partner – possesses a exquisitely divine gift, just waiting to be discovered. And all you need to discover it are your voice and your ears.

Communicate, seek to understand and look for the innocence in every person you encounter. When you are looking for it, you’ll be surprised how easy it is to find.

You cannot hate someone when you understand what is motivating them, because when it comes to dysfunctional, hostile or irrational behaviour, it is nearly always insecurity and pain that motivates us. It motivates all of us to varying degrees, and when you see this within yourself also, you will be able to have more compassion for others.

There is nothing more rewarding in this life than loving our brothers and sisters. Conversely, there is nothing more painful to our heart than enmity, coldness and hostility. And the good news is that you are in control of which you experience.

Communicate gently with everyone, seek the innocence that is buried within, and be tolerant in the face of hostility. We are all on a path of healing and it is only compassion that helps us to make progress along it.

And most importantly, remember…

*What you give you will receive.*

~

Live in gratitude
http://AlexanderBell.org