We all know that our heart is designed for connection; both with other human beings and also with the spiritual realms that are beyond our mental comprehension.

And when our heart experiences the connection it needs, it comes alive and we experience feelings such as joy, love and peace. These feelings are profoudly important to us because they connect us to a reality that transcends the material world. An inner reality that is divine, eternal and beautiful beyond our understanding. These feelings remind us what is truly important in life, and we remember that we have a deep need to feel them.

You probably know from experience that a life without connection can feel very empty and unfulfilling. Yes, we can entertain, indulge and distract ourselves as much as we want to, but sooner or later it begins to feel empty and pointless. We yearn for something deeper, something greater, something which takes us out of ourselves.

Slowly but surely we realise that we need to live a life that doesn’t just revolve around our own needs, wants, desires and ambitions. We have a need to help others and to show other people that we care about them. Our heart is made for giving, sharing and caring, and it’s in the process of doing this that we experience the connection with others that we need.

When you give, when you help, when you listen and show someone that you care, not only does your own heart become more fully activated, but the heart of the other is touched. They feel grateful and appreciative. Their heart is activated too, and as a result you feel more connected to them.

If you want more human connection in your life – if you want to feel more appreciated and valued – then show the people who you interact with that they matter to you. Show them that you are sensitive to their situation, and that you are there for them. Be a good friend to all.

Not only will you build more nourishing friendships and connections, but you will feel good about yourself. You will feel the natural feeling of benevolence that comes from giving. Your heart will also feel the appreciation of others, and this feeling is very special.

To be appreciated is something that your heart really needs, but we cannot expect or demand that others appreciate us. The more giving you are with your time, and with your words and actions, the more people will appreciate you. Trust me, there is nothing on earth that is a sufficient substitute for the feeling of being appreciated – even if its just your partner or your child who appreciates you. We all need to feel this. Our heart needs to feel it.

And what about spiritual connection? Interestingly enough, improving and enriching our human conections assists us with our spiritual connection. What do I mean by ‘spiritual connection?’ I mean the feeling in your heart that you are part of a greater loving intelligence. The feeling of being loved by an invisible all-pervading force that is overseeing your entire life.

This awareness doesn’t come from a belief system – it comes from opening your heart and your mind. It comes from letting go of any spiritual ideas you may have, so that your mind is clear to perceive spiritual reality as it is.

Generally speaking, all of our thoughts relating to spirituality interfere with us fully experiencing the reality of the spiritual dimension, because it is so much deeper than thought. Thinking about the ocean is not the same as swimming in the ocean, and so we need to become comfortable with moving beyond the level of thought, and immersing ourselves in the ocean of intelligent loving presence that always awaits us.

Some people call this God, some people call it Spirit, some people call it Source and so on, but giving it a name is not important. What is important is that we spend time there, and that we practice letting go and surrendering ourselves completely to it. This is what our heart longs for, and many of us are not even aware of it.

This process requires us to surrender our need to understand anything, so that our mind can rest and our heart can be at peace. A peaceful heart and a peaceful mind naturally come into alignment with spiritual reality, which is essentially love. But it is more profound than human love. It is a love that dissolves all our fears. It quenches the deepest thirst within our soul for freedom, and it completely nourishes and satisfies our being in ways that cannot be understood. Each one of us needs to feel this love flowing through our veins. Our heart longs for it, usually without us even realising it.

So on a daily basis, support your mind and your heart to experience moments of peace, rest and inner silence. Take time to go into nature, into a quiet place and relax your body, and breathe. For just 10 minutes, decide to take a holiday from thinking, and instead become aware of all the feelings in your body. This will ground you and also help you to become more aware of your heart.

For these 5 – 10 minutes of silence, just enjoy breathing slowly and deeply, and allow your body to relax more and more.as you breathe. By doing this, you are not only giving your body some much needed rest and attention, but you are also getting some space from the restless energy of the thinking mind. As you do this, you tune in to a different frequency – the frequency of stillness and peace. Relaxing your body is integral to this process.

And the most delightful aspect of relaxing our body is that as tension leaves our muscles, good feelings come in to take its place. Goodness is the underlying nature of spiritual reality. It is pure goodness, and we can feel this as we let go of the tension created by anxious thinking. Opening up to this innate spiritual goodness is how our soul receives nourishment, and we always have the freedom to open up more. We just need to remember to prioritise it on a daily basis, and to take a break from the treadmill of thinking, doing and acheiving. Your being is so much more important, and is always waiting for your attention.

Our civilisation prioritises doing, over being, but this is completely back-to-front and the human race suffers as a result. Of course I understand that for many people it’s hard to prioritise being when there is so much to do. Life can indeed be very full, hectic and busy. But the secret here is to change the energy with which you do things.

It’s very easy to let a stressful and hurried energy take us over, especially when we feel like we don’t have enough time to do everything. We speed up and become acclimatised to a higher tempo, and a more intense, efficient and machine-like energy can take us over. This is especially the case when we are relying on stimulants like coffee, sugar and chocolate to fuel us. We can become addicted to adrenaline and stress very easily, and our fuse becomes shorter. We are less patient, less willing to take the time to be careful and less tolerant of anyone who might slow us down. This is not good, and aside from affecting the people around us negatively, it is very destructive for our own nervous system. Operating on this frequency for a sustained period will eventually leave us feeling completely exhausted, drained and unwell.

So no matter what you are doing, let your inner tempo slow down, so that you are operating with a calmer energy. Bring more care and attentiveness into all your tasks and actions. Even if you’re just driving your car. Don’t allow your busy mind to make you speed up and rush. Consciously slow down, because by doing so you are making a statement to yourself and to the universe that that you have the time you need.

This is a state of mind and being that you can only access by relaxing your body (even while you are busy), slowing down inside and taking the pressure off yourself. Your mind will always say “hurry, hurry, hurry” but do not let those thoughts control how you feel. You are in control of how you feel, and you can choose to go through your day with a calmer and careful energy. If you want to rush, then rush. But it is likely to leave you feeling drained, and reaching for your stimulant of choice at some point.

This is the cycle that many people create for themselves on a daily basis. And often we put ourselves in situations where we have no choice but to rush everything. It’s almost as if we want the adrenaline experience that accompanies stress. We fill up our schedule with an unrealistic amount of tasks, and we don’t allow ourselves a generous amount of time in which to achieve them. Be aware if this is something you do in your life. Are you addicted to doing and neglecting your deeper well-being?

The reality is that in any area of your life you always have the freedom to choose to slow down, relax and act with a calmer and more careful energy. Quite simply, a calmer you means a more peaceful, sensitive and connected you. Remember to take time every day to attune to the quieter and gentler energy within your heart. Take a break from the harsher energies of your thoughts, and just give your body some attention. Enjoy simply relaxing your muscles and breathing. The most beautiful pleasures in life are the simplest.

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Live in gratitude
http://AlexanderBell.org