I know that another’s pain is also my pain. If I can feel it – and I believe it is my responsibility to feel it – then it does not ‘belong’ to another person. It is ours. And because it is ours, we can heal it together. This means we need not struggle alone with our suffering and loneliness, because it is shared.
For me, this is what compassion and empathy are truly about. It is not saying “well, I feel good, so I am just going to have a good time…” It’s about recognising that you can ease the burden of another with the capacity of your compassionate heart. You can lighten the load by saying, “it’s okay, I feel your pain and I know that it can be transformed into peace. Have no fear, I will be with you through what you are experiencing.” Nobody can feel alone when there is someone willing to do this. I feel this is the most loving thing we can do for another person.
Of course, in society we are encouraged to think of ourselves, of what we want, our goals, our desires and so on, and this very much disconnects us from each other, because often our desires don’t always match. Even in spiritual circles, one person may be pursing peace through one method, and another person may prefer another method, and our paths and beliefs may seem to diverge, even though we all want to experience peace.
But in the space of compassion, we all meet, because there are no differing belief systems. We simply care, and this is our nature. We are a caring and compassionate species, and we care enough to put the wellbeing of another before the wellbeing of ourselves. This is the most noble facet of humanity. We will put thoughts of ourselves aside to assist another person. It is instinctive to us, and this is why humans are so special. They really care.
To a large degree, I believe this is what can remedy a lot of the sense of inner-isolation that I know many people feel. Just by having people show that they care, that we matter to them, even though we may not be their close friend. This is powerful and very healing.
But what is also vital is that we understand that there is a far greater, higher consciousness (which some call their ‘higher self’, some call the ‘angelic realm’, some call the ‘greater mind’) that is more than our small, separate, isolated ego. Our sense of loneliness and isolation come primarily because we are unaware and do not feel connected to this higher consciousness, which is conscious, loving and deeply intelligent. It is this intelligence which orchestrates our life experiences so that we may learn the lessons of compassion, humility, gentleness and love.
We have all heard it said that “everything happens for a reason” and it is true. Our heart wants us to return home, back to Love, because our heart is connected with the vast loving intelligence that is responsible for this whole earthly theatre. Our heart is like the auto-cue, or the prompter which tells us when something is required from us, when must do or say something. But whatever is required of us, ultimately it is Love. It might be some words, some action, some movement in a particular direction towards something which we need, or away from something which is harmful, but love is the guiding force, and it is guiding us towards itself.
This is the ultimate remedy to deep loneliness that many people feel. When we encounter love’s presence in our heart, we are reunited with everything that we have ever been searching or longing for. We cannot feel sad in love’s presence, we cannot feel alone. We feel humbled and deeply grateful. We finally feel complete, at peace. We have arrived back at where we were always meant to be; our home.
We remember who we truly are beyond all mental ideas, and we remember what relationship we have with the Universe. It is a very natural and heart-felt experience, and it effortless too, because it is why we are here. All our painful adult experiences have had a purpose, and that purpose is to resolve the separation within our heart; the separation from Love’s presence.
Alexander Bell